Wednesday, April 16, 2014

40 Something

"I was in your hands even before my birth; you are my God from the time when I was in my mother's body." Psalm 22:10
Photo: 40 weeks and 2 days. He's cute, and stubborn like his mom, I mean dad.... 

This morning I woke up to my 3rd day of being "over-due" with my third baby, with my third baby, still tucked neatly inside, and no real sign he's coming out anytime too soon. So in honor being 40 weeks {plus} pregnant today, I've decided to camp on 40 things that being a mother has done for me. There's a lot of anxiety around the birth of a baby. Everyone wants to know when he's coming and how I'm doing {I'm crazy, so don't ask} and there's a lot of build up, so it can all start to be a little overwhelming and frustrating. Making plans is hard because you just never know and so today, I'm gunna choose joy. This boy is a blessing and gift straight from The Lord and I'm confident that he will come when he's prompted by God.

So my 40 things....{in no specific order}

1. The experience of riding a roller coaster, all day, everyday--I don't think there's a whole lot of things in life that can take you from a heart overwhelmed by joy in one moment 'cause your children are being sweet to each other, to the desire to pull all your hair out in utter frustration the exact next moment.

2. The realization at how much I need Jesus--I need Him. I need Him every stinking moment of the day {and night, ahem} You simply cannot do life, well do it the way God wants us to, without Him. Go figure.

3. The excuse to eat peanut-butter by the spoonful--Don't look at me and tell me that ooey gooey goodness doesn't find it self in a heaping spoonful headed straight for your mouth while you're making PB&J's, after all, you are serving others and you deserve a little treat right?

4. The ability to wear yoga pants--there's just something about yoga pants and motherhood that go hand in hand. Because you can't tell me that raising children isn't a lot like a workout at the gym.

5. The chance to be someone's "superhero"--Riley thinks I bandage owies and cook dinner better than anyone else around, so I don't argue with him.

6. The chance to hold your heart outside your body--its 3 am, your daughter has been sick for what seems like weeks and the only place she finds comfort is in your arms, so you rock through the night and look down, only to realize you're holding your heart, and its so full.

7. The Pain--oh my. From labor to watching them take a hard fall, to the emotional pain that's bound to come their way a time or two, it hurts to be a mama.

8. The Joy--whether its repeating the same knock knock joke and still getting the same crack up response, for the 12th time, or hearing them pray at dinner, knowing that something in fact is clicking in them, there's nothing like the joy of a mama.

9. The Junk--there's cheerios from 2010 under the car seats and there's crayons under the dishwasher. Everywhere you look, there's a sign but its a messy sign, of a good life.

10. The Mess--its never ending chaos. So much dirt and grime and hand prints, no person could keep up, so you adjust the blinds a bit, now the sun doesn't make them so obvious.

11.The annoying, obnoxious, cartoons and songs--Wiggles anyone? Or that other one {its been banned here} Yo Gabba Gabba, how about NO Gabba Gabba?

12. The laughs--children just have a way at cracking you up, and they're not even meaning too. Our pet chicken dies, Riley's first question; "Are we gunna eat it?"---ummmm, no. 

13. The tears--Oh, the tears. Whether its from heartbreak, laughing or just plain insanity, the tears, they come and there's just no use trying to stop them.

14. The chance to know what sleep deprivation really feels like--Remember the first time the college student casually tells you how tired they are cause they had to study...Are you serious?

15. The ability to sleep with things you didn't ever consider would be in your bed--Hot wheels? A baby doll? A diaper even?

16. The friendship--some of my "mommy friends" I've made over the last 4 years are some of the closest women to me. We just get one another and feel a little more understood by each other.

17. The ability to spell- Out loud, quickly and even an entire sentence. "D-O Y-O-U W-A-N-T S-O-M-E I-C-E-C-R-E-A-M W-H-E-N T-H-E-Y G-O T-O B-E-D?"

18. The 2 person team- You and you're hubs, you're totally for one another, and you've got his back. "If your dad says no, then I say no"; busted.

19.The chance to sleep standing up, while rocking a 15 lb bag of potatoes, I mean your child--if you're not going to be able to sleep in your bed, then in the middle of a bedroom, signing "Jesus loves me" for the 95th time will do just fine.

20. The chance to watch someone grow up from baby in Jesus to beyond--our son asked Jesus into his heart last year, and his growth in the Lord has blown me away this last year. He's only 4...I'm thrilled to keep watching.

21. The being told you're weird--you know that look. When your kid thinks you're ridiculous and you realize that maybe, just maybe you have in fact, jumped on the crazy train.

22. The gifts--your child's handful of dandelions and daisies? There's just nothing in this world that can compare.

23. The doubt--Obviously you dropped the ball somewhere? Is any of this worth it? Are you even a good parent?!

24. The wins--Your kid actually said PLEASE with out being prompted, granted it came out "get me my lunch, please" but hey, a win is a win right?

25. The losses--Your head hits the pillow and you're defeated and upset; nothing went right today and your mascara from two days ago {Sunday, it was church} is streaked down your face. You can hear the gasps for breath cause your child cried himself to sleep, you're about to do the same.

26. The grace--Its a new day and you literally feel God's presence, love and the fact that He's watching you as your mama friend passes dinner through your front door cause she just knows and understands this life is overwhelming and this is how she knows to help.

27. The ability to see out of the back of your head--you never believed your mom when she said she could see what you're doing when behind her, but you know she was right all along now.

28. The intuition--You've spent the entire day waaaaaaiiiiiting for the vomitting to start, cause you just knew when they woke up that morning, something wasn't right.

29. The fun--you spend your summer days in strawberry fields and forts eating Popsicles with your favorite people in the world, what could be better? 

30. The pride--you think the world of your kiddos. They're the cutest, sweetest, you name it-est and that's them!

31. The embarrassment-- "but mom!! You picked your nose in the car!! Why can't I?!"

32. The endless needs--it just never ends. You sit down and they announce they need some water, you fall asleep as the baby decides its time to eat.

33. The Stuff--oh and I mean STUFF! You can't leave the house without loading the car with the diaper bag, the snacks, the toys, the stroller, the change of clothes, you get in, start the car....the baby is still in the house...

34. The time--Its either going by 100 miles a minute; how is she going to be 2?! Or you're not even sure the clock is working today; isn't it almost time for daddy to rescue me be home?

35. The chance to hold tiny hands--there's something about a little hand in yours, just completes you.

36. The little moments--You're playing checkers with your oldest while the babies nap, and he's not really even playing fair, but the way his face lights up when "he wins" just melts you.

37. The BIG moments--You're driving along and out of no where he tells you he wants to ask Jesus in his heart. You pull over and pray with him and you're just never going to forget that moment.

38. The chaos- You're somehow able to hold your baby, make dinner, pick up crayons and kiss a boo-boo all at once. You're husband walks in the door and you yell your hellos at one another and just smile, this noise and chaos is so much better than you thought possible.

39. The heart of it all- You've come to realize, after just 4 short years of being labeled "mother", that this job is in fact done for the Lord and you're blown away that He's called you to this position.

40. The Jesus in it all--He is there, in each moment, whether you realize or not. And we're so blessed to have Him and have these babies, "late" or not. 


  1. Wow Aubrey. Beautifully written. You are a great mother!! Congrats on baby # 3!! I will be praying he comes SOON!

  2. So nice to hear your thoughts, Aubrey. I can still feel every one of them--some QUITE a long time ago--and some daily, since Parker is here. It's so good that you took the time to examine your blessed life and chose to share with us. I hope it will inspire others to do the same. I can't wait to meet the little mister! Love you!

  3. I can totally relate to most of the things on your list. I just love this post. =)