Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Mama says "sorry"

As a mama that's chosen for myself and my babies to attempt natural labors and deliveries I feel like there is a little apologizing the women on my "side" need to do. 

I did not choose to deliver Riley naturally, with midwives and without medication because I want some sort of award or pat on the back, but because I'm confident it was the right decision for myself. The Lord has given me a solid tolerance for pain and a body that more or less tends to reject pain medications. (I learned this about myself when I had my appendectomy and knee surgeries...there's something about being in pain and extreme vomiting that just kills me.) Obviously in labor and delivery situations pain is inevitable so I elect to forgo meds, keep my lunch down and power through the pain. As I entered myself into the world of natural child birth, I learned more about certain risks and benefits of such practice and in turn have become quite the advocate for doing things naturally.

Does this mean that I think you're selfish or wrong if you elect to get an epidural, see an obgyn, induce labor, etc? No, not in the least. I'm also aware that not everything, if anything really goes the way we "birth plan" stuff, so sometimes things just happen. Some women in my boat however tend to make women who choose differently feel less than. {SORRY} Same goes for nursing vs. formula, home birth vs. hospital, vaccination vs. no vaccines and so forth. Frankly I'm quite tired of the "mama battles" tearing us all down and stressing everyone out.

Insert the Holy Spirit. I believe that the Holy Spirit is such an amazing tool we all take for granted time to time. The Holy Spirit has a special way of speaking to our hearts and I think we as mothers would do ourselves quite the aide in listening more carefully and more often. I don't know why its laid so heavy on my heart to try with all that I can to labor and deliver naturally or to not let my babies cry themselves to sleep (gasp!) or to nurse my children well past 12 months. Maybe I'm being protected, maybe I'm being stretched, maybe I'm being taught a lesson only learned through certain actions...I really can't say. But I know as I have sought and continue to seek the direction and conviction of the Holy Spirit, confirm I'm not acting unbiblically and have the lead and or support of my husband, then I am being the best mama I can be. This mama is not going to look like anyone else as a mother; but they aren't gifted with my children and I'm not given theirs. So for me to stand on my high horse and tell you how and what to do is wrong. Granted there are biblical foundations all us parents should follow, I haven't found anything about the fouls of baby wearing, or on-demand nursing.

So my mommy adventures and lessons continue on. I think being led by the Holy Spirit in our parenting decisions and actions is vital for our own sanity as mothers with 190 million parenting books to consult and for our specific children's needs.

Also seeing my day to day choices as creating and/or affecting my life's ministry for the Lord helps to draw my attention beyond the given moment and focuses me more on Him and less on me (John 3:30) I know when Riley was born the nurse I had was truly ministered to through my choice of natural labor/birth because that was her passion in life. I needed her help through the experience she had as a doula prior to nursing, so she spent her entire 12 hour shift with us. She was then able to watch my mom, best friend and mother-in-law pray for me, my husband hold me up and be my rock and claimed she's never seen a couple like us before. These were just a few ways she said she was impacted by us. So maybe enduring pain like that was worth the ministry that occurred for that woman. If I hadn't listened to the convictions of the Holy Spirit, things could have been very different and an epidural would have produced a patient that didn't need that nurse's undivided attention.

Life is about ministering for Jesus.  And its ok for our ministries to look a little different than the other.

1 comment:

  1. Definitely needed to hear that Aubrey! Sometimes I get so gung ho on a topic that I can't imagine why people would choose any other way. The world isn't black and white though. Thank you for the encouragement. I can't wait to have you there for Adelaide's birth!