who I {really} want to be....

Sometimes, well mostly during nap time, I think about the future and where I see myself someday and who I want to be....

This is what I come up with;

I want to love God.  

I want get closer to him everyday one way or another. I know trials have given me my most dramatic growth in God. With the future trials I know I'll encounter, I look forward with hope knowing the growth they can bring. I want to be more genuine. I want to have the word of God just spilling from my mouth on a regular basis to myself, my children, my husband, even strangers. I want to really know God and I want that knowledge to be evident through my daily tasks.

I want to Love my hubs. 

 I want to love him despite his inability to use the clothes hamper. I want to love him for his free spirited attitude that levels my uptightness. I want to love him for his humor. I want to love him despite his flaws. I want to love him and respect him as I'm called to. 

I want to love my child{ren?}. 

Oh I want to be that mom with a house full of kids. I want my children to be happy joyful. I want them to know God and love Him. I want them to love dirt. I want them to be covered in kisses instead of the most expensive clothes. I want to play peter pan instead of worrying about dishes. I want to be able to look the other way when I see crusty cheerios under highchairs so I can read 'Cat in the Hat' for the 19th time. I want them to run barefoot. I want to love my kids so much they know there's no way there isn't a God! 

I want to be a homemaker. 

 People have said that I'm verging on the side of a Hippy mom...whatever that means. Good or bad in your eyes, I'll take it. I want to be a wholesome mommy. I want to breast feed all my kids. I want to crochet them blankets. I want to make their babyfood. I want to teach them to love the earth, and to grow things. I want to buy food at farmer's markets. I want to use re-usable grocery bags. I want to be outside whenever we can. I want to "wear" my newborns {they're the most beautiful accessory I've found yet!} I just want to be the best stay-at-home mama I can be! 

I want to make delicious food. 

 I've found a love for food in the last few years. I love to make things. I love to see the reaction on people's faces when they like something I've made them. I love using new ingredients. I love using fresh foods. My favorite thing about Lebanon Oregon is the berry farms here. Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and cherries will be overflowing from my kitchen this summer! 

I want to live simply. 

On Tyler's and my quest to begin to pay off our debt faster than the companies would probably like, I've come to see the ultimate solution to being truely debt free in life is to live simply. My parents never taught me to want a lot of material things. My best memories are that of camping trips and hauling an old canvas t-pee my dad gave us to an empty lot and "camping" out with my brother and our various treasures we packed with us {lunch was always included} I want to be content and live with what I've been given. Ironically I've been given a lot, so it shouldn't be too hard. I want to sit back, and just enjoy this tick in time I'm given.

I guess I only have one shot at all this.
So as long as I fear God and follow his commands, I'll be in good shape.