Grumble

This guy. He is my favorite person in the world. He's my best friend and truth be told sometimes he literally drives me insane. {Does that sound dramatic?} Speaking of drama queens, we were talking about Rebekah in the Bible at Bible study last night and how she's just kind of a control freak, drama queen that blames everyone else but herself...and on and on....and I thought "crap! that's me!!"

Of course, I didn't admit to being like Rebekah, but I think we'd be good 'frienemies' if we ever met. We'd both tell one another how our lives are terrible because of the way someone else is acting or how other people's choices are really starting to make things bad for us...we'd chat and maybe a tear would fall, just to make it seem legit. I'd tell her how sometimes after talking like a pirate for the 90th time and being yelled at by my three-year old to 'just do it one more time' that I was feeling a like nutso and how my life as a stay-at-home momma is so hard...

Maybe Rebekah and I aren't hashing out of difficult cards in life to determine who has it worse, but I do know that when Tyler walks in the door and I huff to him about how hard this is, how I can't take it anymore and on and on with the complaining, that his husband's heart takes these bits of "venting" and complaining to heart. He wants to fix it, he wants to help me and doesn't see that I'm just talking out of emotions. 

I'm not saying that I have to pretend like everythings hunky dory all the time while I wipe pee off the floor, with a baby on my hip and my pirate hat on...but what I am saying is that I needed this reality check that sometimes I can be a bit of a drama queen, and like Rebekah, I act and speak out of emotion and in turn I bring everyone down with me. Drama queen=joy stealer. I'm not thankful=joy stealer. I'm complaining=joy stealer. But how I long for joy.

I don't know about you, but when a lady in Bible study brought up how we ought to be careful of our actions and words we say to our husbands as a result of being a little emotional and dramatic because they often take it to heart, I felt very convicted. I do this often, without a second thought.

When I tell Tyler, after a long day of cleaning up the same mess and folding laundry and wipin' booties and payin bills, that I just can't take it anymore, he believes me...I don't really mean it and my goodness how blessed I am to be sitting here in my living room with legos scattered, sleeping babies and half folded laundry baskets with the sun shining in my windows, while my man works hard to make it all possible for me to be here. I want to be sensitive to make him know that I appreciate my calling and take joy in it, not constantly complain.

When I grumble, I'm making it all about me. "These people are grumblers and complainers, living only to satisfy their desires." Jude 1:16....oh but I want so much to be more about Jesus and less about me.

So people, arrrghhh {pirate voice} me be happy today no matter what!