Tuesday, June 26, 2012

What do I do now?!

For the last year or so, I've been waiting and waiting to put on my "stay-at-home mom" hat on full-time. I've been working at a pre-school, toting Riley along with me for the last 2 years. I have loved some moments, and not loved others. Its really hard to share yourself with children that aren't yours. To train your child in a way that you want to and feel called to, while you just use timeouts for others who commit the same "offense"and having your two-year old look at you with wondering eyes, just wore me down on a daily basis. Riley has been going to work with me since he was 6 weeks old and boy have I had some amazing times and horrible times. I was ready to stay home with him. I was ready to wake up and tend to the needs of my husband and not have to worry about getting myself out the door too. I was ready to stay home with our children and more than that, I know this is what God is calling me to do. There's a problem though, parenting small children day in and day out, parenting in the "trenches", if you will, is where I've found Satan really likes to work hard.....

{Granted I've just had a baby and hormones are flying through my system a million miles a minute and probably nothing I say should be taken too seriously, I thought I'd share with you all what I've been feeling and learning this last month}

In this culture, we don't like to stay still. We like to feel "alive" and so we fill our time with lots and lots of activity. I do this and I do it well. I like to have something to do in my day, even if its just a trip to the store or whatever. I somehow allow myself to feel more accomplished if I have "done something" today. So naturally the thought of staying in my home all day with a 2 & 1/2 year old and newborn scared me. What will I do? What will make me feel important and needed? I basically listened to the lies of Satan telling me that staying home all day with my children was going to make me a dull, boring, and fat woman with nothing important to do.

This past weekend, we went to a parenting breakfast at our church and we listened to a portion of Scared Parenting by Gary Thomas. What hit me right in the heart, was when he talks about his wife struggling with wearing clothing with "white spots" from her child spitting up on her all day and struggling to find a meaning in that. He referenced her to Matthew 25:35-36  " For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,  I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." Gary Thomas points out that this very thing is what Jesus wants us to do for others and who better than for an infant? I instantly thought that we can't be rewarded for caring for our own children, but Thomas confronts that lie, by making note that before these children were mine, they were Jesus'. Wow. As I nurse Grace 10 times a day or wipe Riley's hands for the 15th time in a day, I am doing so to the children of Jesus. 

We mama's have SO SO SO much to do. And its vitally important that we don't forget that our work is eternal. I'm blessed to be called to stay home and parent my children day after day. The challenge is to not lose sight as to why we do what we do. I'm here to point  Jesus and to serve Jesus through them. What a calling. What a challenge. What a blessing. 

So, What do I do now?! Remind myself, moment by moment that as I care for my children, I'm serving Jesus and to be constantly seeking the Holy Spirit to get me through hard days and to help me see blessing and purpose in the tedious tasks of caring for little ones.

No comments:

Post a Comment